Process Analysis and Review
THIS is the secret to success...
OK. A show of hands for all company executives for whom this approach seems like THE solution to all their problems. I don't mean to be cynical, but just how many of you consultants out there have adopted this differentiation strategy? [Let me suggest you visit the psychoLOGIC Business Consultant Network for a sanity check.] Anyone heard of Plan-Do-Study-Act? Look before you Leap? Plan the work and work the plan? You can lead an executive to water but you can't make him drink?
Anyway, enjoy the read...[by the way, I've introduced my editorial comments in brackets to provide a running commentary - ala MS3TK.]
R.L. Nelson and Associates, Inc. utilizes a proven, field-tested structure methodology to insure clients receive the optimal solution to achieve their business objectives. Our approach encompasses the client's existing business practices and objectives, and a forward looking perspective that is designed to deliver solutions that are cost effective and scaleable to meet the changing business environment. [I count over a dozen uses of consultant jargon. I know - I've used them myself! But honestly, all executives will hear is "blah blah blah blah blah bend over and blah blah blah cost a lot of money blah blah blah no chance in hell of success"]
Meet with Key Management Personnel to Define the Project Scope
R.L. Nelson and Associates, Inc.'s goal is to assist our clients in achieving their business objectives through the strategic integration of people, processes and technology. Properly identifying a project and its scope is crucial to achieving this goal. [Again, set the jar-guns to stun.] During this phase our consultants will [usually NOT]:
- Meet with executive management to review stakeholder needs, strategic direction and supporting objectives
- Obtain executive management's buy-in and approval of the project
- Develop and understanding of management's vision
- Review the client's business plan
- Review process flow documentation
- Obtain an overview of the technology infrastructure and applications in use
- Identify any barriers or constraints on the project
- With management, author a project scope document [Wrong! YOU will author this and coerce management to send out an email supporting it - if you are lucky.]
Develop a Detailed Project Plan
Conducting the consulting engagement within the confines of the project scope document requires the development of a detailed project plan. The project plans acts as the road map to guide the project. Various tools are used during this phase, including time lines, Gantt charts, Continuous Improvement procedures and process documentation software tools. [Geeze Louise... you missed work process improvement, knowledge management, and mental masturbation.] The primary tasks completed in this phase are:
Identify and select team members [Read: Attempt to excite people who have been drafted to participate against their will.]
- Confirm that a full and shared understanding of stakeholder needs, the strategic direction, business objectives and project objectives exists among all participants
- Define the time frame for the project
- Define and assign specific tasks
- Define the monitoring and evaluation criteria
- Present findings to management
Present specific findings, recommendations and Project Plan to management. Upon acceptance by management [now THIS is the key to the lucrative world of business consulting - the more dense management is, th elong it takes them to accept - hence the more money YOU make! Remember this, grasshopper] , execute the Project Plan.
Execute the Project Plan
"Vision without execution is an hallucination" [Don't you love these quotes? I need to come up with a few of my own, copyright them, and then charge consultants a royalty everytime they want to use one. Like that old lady that wrote the "Happy Birthday" song...]
Working within the project scope, our consultants in conjunction with the various team members will execute the Project Plan in a timely and cost-effective manner. [RIGHT!] As with any project, unexpected forces arise that impact the project's scope. [No Shit Sherlock... that's your holy grail. But since you know that every project has them, are they really unexpected? I think not. They are damn well expected and essential for consulting success.] The feedback loop built into our methodology enables us to recognize and act upon these forces and react appropriately. [Think they copyrighted this fancy schmancy feedback loop thing?] Monitoring the execution of the Project Plan is a critical component of this phase to insure that the project is on-time, on-budget and meets the specification of the Project Plan.
Monitor the Solution
To complete the consulting process, the solution's impact and results must be monitored and measured against the project objectives. Any changes or enhancements that are required are implemented using the above methodology. [Notice how the last step is ALWAYS the most briefly worded and simply stated. The reason for this is that rarely does the consultant ever get to the part of the process where they can actually develop any good go-bys. By this stage, executive management has changed out, last years initiatives are shit-canned, and the old consultants are released/ Be thankful you lasted this long.]
[Elapsed time: 1 year minimum. Sustainability: None.]
OK. A show of hands for all company executives for whom this approach seems like THE solution to all their problems. I don't mean to be cynical, but just how many of you consultants out there have adopted this differentiation strategy? [Let me suggest you visit the psychoLOGIC Business Consultant Network for a sanity check.] Anyone heard of Plan-Do-Study-Act? Look before you Leap? Plan the work and work the plan? You can lead an executive to water but you can't make him drink?
Anyway, enjoy the read...[by the way, I've introduced my editorial comments in brackets to provide a running commentary - ala MS3TK.]
R.L. Nelson and Associates, Inc. utilizes a proven, field-tested structure methodology to insure clients receive the optimal solution to achieve their business objectives. Our approach encompasses the client's existing business practices and objectives, and a forward looking perspective that is designed to deliver solutions that are cost effective and scaleable to meet the changing business environment. [I count over a dozen uses of consultant jargon. I know - I've used them myself! But honestly, all executives will hear is "blah blah blah blah blah bend over and blah blah blah cost a lot of money blah blah blah no chance in hell of success"]
Meet with Key Management Personnel to Define the Project Scope
R.L. Nelson and Associates, Inc.'s goal is to assist our clients in achieving their business objectives through the strategic integration of people, processes and technology. Properly identifying a project and its scope is crucial to achieving this goal. [Again, set the jar-guns to stun.] During this phase our consultants will [usually NOT]:
- Meet with executive management to review stakeholder needs, strategic direction and supporting objectives
- Obtain executive management's buy-in and approval of the project
- Develop and understanding of management's vision
- Review the client's business plan
- Review process flow documentation
- Obtain an overview of the technology infrastructure and applications in use
- Identify any barriers or constraints on the project
- With management, author a project scope document [Wrong! YOU will author this and coerce management to send out an email supporting it - if you are lucky.]
Develop a Detailed Project Plan
Conducting the consulting engagement within the confines of the project scope document requires the development of a detailed project plan. The project plans acts as the road map to guide the project. Various tools are used during this phase, including time lines, Gantt charts, Continuous Improvement procedures and process documentation software tools. [Geeze Louise... you missed work process improvement, knowledge management, and mental masturbation.] The primary tasks completed in this phase are:
Identify and select team members [Read: Attempt to excite people who have been drafted to participate against their will.]
- Confirm that a full and shared understanding of stakeholder needs, the strategic direction, business objectives and project objectives exists among all participants
- Define the time frame for the project
- Define and assign specific tasks
- Define the monitoring and evaluation criteria
- Present findings to management
Present specific findings, recommendations and Project Plan to management. Upon acceptance by management [now THIS is the key to the lucrative world of business consulting - the more dense management is, th elong it takes them to accept - hence the more money YOU make! Remember this, grasshopper] , execute the Project Plan.
Execute the Project Plan
"Vision without execution is an hallucination" [Don't you love these quotes? I need to come up with a few of my own, copyright them, and then charge consultants a royalty everytime they want to use one. Like that old lady that wrote the "Happy Birthday" song...]
Working within the project scope, our consultants in conjunction with the various team members will execute the Project Plan in a timely and cost-effective manner. [RIGHT!] As with any project, unexpected forces arise that impact the project's scope. [No Shit Sherlock... that's your holy grail. But since you know that every project has them, are they really unexpected? I think not. They are damn well expected and essential for consulting success.] The feedback loop built into our methodology enables us to recognize and act upon these forces and react appropriately. [Think they copyrighted this fancy schmancy feedback loop thing?] Monitoring the execution of the Project Plan is a critical component of this phase to insure that the project is on-time, on-budget and meets the specification of the Project Plan.
Monitor the Solution
To complete the consulting process, the solution's impact and results must be monitored and measured against the project objectives. Any changes or enhancements that are required are implemented using the above methodology. [Notice how the last step is ALWAYS the most briefly worded and simply stated. The reason for this is that rarely does the consultant ever get to the part of the process where they can actually develop any good go-bys. By this stage, executive management has changed out, last years initiatives are shit-canned, and the old consultants are released/ Be thankful you lasted this long.]
[Elapsed time: 1 year minimum. Sustainability: None.]
posted by epiclectic at 9:22 PM
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